An American Trial

Steven Grant, in his Permanent Damage column this week, lays out the reasons why the trial of Khalid Sheikh Mohammad in Manhattan is as much a trial of U.S. ideals as of the man himself, and I think he does it as well as can be said:

Aspiring Republican presidential candidate Mike Huckabee started rattling sabers at Barack Obama recently, and is trying to get Republicans to pay more attention to him than to Sarah Palin, by warning that the DoJ's decision to put accused 9-11 terrorists Khalid Sheikh Mohammed and cohorts on trial in Manhattan will destroy Obama's re-election chances if things don't go "as expected." An editorial in the local conservative paper, THE LAS VEGAS REVIEW-JOURNAL, this past Monday, denounces the whole idea that "dangerous foreign terrorists who seek to destroy the United States now get the same constitutional protections afforded American citizens" and the usual pundits are all leaping on the same bandwagon. Not that they haven't been there before, through the history of Guantanamo Base as terrorist prison camp.

Admittedly, there are some reasons for concern. Assuming, though it has always been something of a jump, that al-Qaeda or sympathetic terror groups even have the capability, the trial makes Manhattan courts a viable target for a new attack. Trials potentially give Khalid etc. a forum to express noxious views. On the other side of the coin, can 9-11 terrorists already convicted in everything but name even get a fair trial in Manhattan, only a few blocks from the remains of the World Trade Center.

But it strikes me as weird both that the Right Wing is taking this particular tack on this issue and that no one is bothering to explain the real reason why, yes, even terrorists deserve the protections of the Constitution. So allow me.

Basically, if you don't think the terrorists deserve a trial, you're not a real American.

Obviously, there's a lot more and I urge you to go and read the full column.

The dead will Rise... and promote Trojans

Ok, I'm gonna go ahead and embed the Chris Farley Direct TV commercial below, but only in case there's someone out there who may not have seen it or who is in dire need for incentive to cut their eyes out with a spoon.



Now, understand, my objection here isn't because I'm particularly a Chris Farley fan. In some ways I find the commercial fitting because it shows about as much inventiveness and humor as most of Farley's movies. Plus it has the advantage of being much much shorter.

No, the objection really comes in the use of dead people to sell things that they never endorsed. It's a trend that began a while back, nor is it Direct TV's first offense, and while initially it did lead to some amusing and creative commercials, once one moved beyond that to actually think about what was going on, that the image of a dead person was being used to sell an item that they may not have even known about in their day, that words were being put in their mouth promoting items and ideas that they might not agree with or believe in. I mean just because they have the word "ranch" in the name do we really know that Roy Rogers would have liked the taste of Cool Ranch Doritos? No. But thanks to a little tricky camera work and creative computer editing, I'm sure that by the time you're reading this someone could have devised a video of Roy and Dale singing an ode to the snack chip. With Trigger providing beatbox.

I've even heard that Farley's family approved the ad as if that somehow validates the concept. "Hey, honey, just because we don't have any talent of our own is no reason not to take this money from the satellite company, now is it? I'm sure it's what Uncle Chris would have wanted us to do." "Yes, sweetie - I'm sure that when he said 'I'd rather die than endorse them' he had no idea he could do both."

Which, of course, leads to the question of where will it all end. Who will be the next zombie to be raised by Direct TV's loa to pitch their product? Well, LandlineTV has an idea:



Y'know, I take it all back. Maybe if it brings us creativity and humor like that the Direct TV ad campaign is worth it. Too bad it's just not the actual commercials that are showing it.

How'd he figure it out? It was Sheer Luck

Ok, so Warners has released a new, two-minute plus trailer for the upcoming Robert Downey / Jude Law Sherlock Holmes movie, and I have to say that it may not be the complete abomination I'd initially feared. Ok, I still think Downey is too young to play Holmes, and I think the attempt to turn Holmes into a Bourne-style action hero is completely misguided (at least they're not yet fitting him for a G.I Joe style steam-powered amplifier suit - after all, they've got to save something for the sequel) but it seems this new trailer downplays that aspect a bit and focuses on the movie having an actual storyline, so maybe there's hope for it yet... Have a look for yourself and lemme know what you think:

Movie Trailers - Movies Blog

Nonetheless, I'm still not convinced that this isn't going to be one of those "in name only" movies that really should have been called something else, but is using the Holmes name to sell a few extra tickets and to justify it being a period piece. Still, I'm willing to (for now) give it the benefit of the doubt, and I suspect I'll be there sometime opening week.

Eenie Meenie Miney... Police Row

Three quick and somewhat related stories:

First off, I think it's fairly safe to call it a bad day when you're picked up for drunk driving wearing a breathalyzer costume...

According to a police report, 18-year-old James N. P. Miller, of Cincinnati, was seen driving the wrong way out of the entrance to a one-way street at East Park Place in Oxford.

Officers executed a traffic stop and found that Miller was wearing a breathalyzer costume. After investigation, police said, Miller was found to be operating a vehicle while intoxicated.

Inside his car, officers allegedly found an open container of Bud Light in the center console.

Officers also found what was left of a case of Bud Light in the passenger side front seat and in the trunk.

He was arrested and transported to the police station, where he consented to take a blood-alcohol-content test. His results were a .158 percent BAC.

Second, I think we can also say that this guy's issue goes way beyond a bad hat/hair day:

Cesar Lopez, a 29-year-old Lebanon, Pa., man, was busted Saturday when he walked up to a police officer with a small bag of marijuana stuck to his forehead, according to Lebanon police.

Police said the officer went into a Turkey Hill convenience store on Lehman Street at 3:25 a.m. Saturday and saw Lopez holding a baseball cap and peering inside it. When Lopez approached the officer, he looked up, and the officer said he saw a small plastic bag stuck to Lopez's forehead. The bag appeared to contain marijuana, police said.

The officer retrieved the bag from Lopez’s forehead and said, “Is this what you are looking for?,” according to the police report. Lopez was charged with possession of a small amount of marijuana and possession of drug paraphernalia.

Finally, for those of you who don't get enough Americana cruising the People of WalMart site, here's another for your list - Bank Notes is exactly what it purports to be: a site that posts actual notes used by bank robbers when they're asking for the money. Some of them are scary, some of them are funny ("Thanks a bunch"? Really? Well, i guess there's no reason not to be polite about it.), some of them are just plain sad.

I have a gun in my bag.
Give me $5,000 please.
Thanks a bunch.

Need $300 or I’ll kill you.
I’m serious.

When possible, the site also provides pictures from the security cameras and details of the robbbery. And while you're checking it out, remember- somewhere, somehow, somebody's having a worse day than you are...

Could We Have A Little Less Fear Please?

Finally, Lenore Skenazy at the Huffington Post provides a little sense and perspective:

Forget all the guys in Bernie Madoff masks and tutus. If you want to see something really scary on Halloween, come to my apartment around 9 p.m.I'm letting my kids eat unwrapped candy.

They can eat any homemade goodies they get, too, and that unholy of unholies: candy where the wrapper is slightly torn. And on the very off chance they get an apple, they can gnaw it to the core, so long as there's not a razor-sized, dripping gash on the side.

Which always seemed like it would be a kind of give-away that something was amiss.

It's not that I'm cavalier about safety. I'm just a sucker -- so to speak -- for the facts. And the fact is: No child has been poisoned by a stranger's goodies on Halloween, ever, as far as we can determine. Joel Best, a sociology professor at the University of Delaware, studied November newspapers from 1958 to the present, scouring them for any accounts of kids felled by felonious candy. And...he didn't find any. He did find one account of a boy poisoned by a Pixie Stix his father gave him. Dad did it for the insurance money and, Best says, he probably figured that so many kids are poisoned on Halloween, no one would notice one more.

Well, they did and dad was executed. That's Texas for you.

Go to the site. Read the rest of the article. Especially if you have children or grandchildren. Then take a deep breath.

Oh, and if you're someone i know personally with children or grandchildren (or are ever around children or have ever touched a child) expect a copy of the author's book in your stocking this year...

And next he'll play an Indian Chief...

from reuters:

Popular British actor David Tennant, best known for playing the title role in the BBC's long-running sci-fi series "Doctor Who," is set to make his American television debut as the title character in NBC's hour-long pilot "Rex Is Not Your Lawyer."

The comedic legal drama centers on a top Chicago litigator (Tennant) who begins suffering panic attacks and takes up coaching clients to represent themselves in court.

NBC green lighted the project in August, about two years after it was first developed, and had been trying to find a lead actor for several months until Tennant came along and nailed the part. Tennant, a theater and TV actor, rose to fame playing the mysterious alien time-traveler at the center of "Doctor Who" for the past five years. His performance as the Doctor has been often rated as the top in the franchise's 46-year history.

Well, the good news about this is that we Americans will have an easier time getting our fix of the wonderful actor that is David Tennant. For at least four weeks. Yes, I know it's being touted as a new ongoing series, but considering some of the other decisions the peacock bosses have made lately... (of course, by the time this show airs NBC will be owned by Comcast anyway which means there'll be a completely new set of decision making idiots who not only will be looking to turn a profit but to do it quickly so they can justify their expenditures to the new corporate overlords. Assuming the show makes it beyond the pilot stage to begin with.)

Post Halloween...

So as we begin to pull out of the sugar-induced coma, I suppose it's time to do a little catching up. There's been a lot of things cross the desk lately, and I don't know how many we'll actually get to today, but we're gonna give it a good shot today and tomorrow then probably round things off on Friday with a junkyard. That's if everything goes according to plan. And let's be honest, how often does that actually happen?

So, first thing, how about writing off the Halloween season with a couple of items that really fit into the season but we just never got around to.

Hmm... let's set the wayback machine for 62 (yes, really, 62) years ago. 1946 saw the introduction of one of the truly scariest monsters ever created. And I'm not necessarily talking about the furry red guy:



fun schtuff, hunh? ok, now let's head back even further to Halloween 1939. Orson W - wait a second! What's happening? it seems we're caught in some kind of temporal/dimensional crossover! Look, over there! Is that a martian, or a guy with pointy ears?

Actually it may be both. LA Theater Works is a group dedicated to carrying on the traditions of Old Time Radio, presenting both original works and recreations of old radio shows. Recently they gathered together a collection of stars from the Star Trek TV shows, including Leonard Nimoy and John DeLancey, to recreate the 1939 Orson Wells classic The War of the Worlds. The results are definitely interesting and well worth a listen. The show, presented in two parts below, also includes an adaptation of Arthur Conan Doyle's The Lost World which was actually adapted for radio by the aforementioned John DeLancey . And be sure to check out the L.A. Theater Works website for more great audio plays.

Click play for part one:

Click play for part two:


Ok, so in looking at all the trailers for our classic horror trailer roundup laast month, I of course ran across a whole bunch that looked interesting but didn't really fit the format. Worry not, though, because you'll be seeing them pop up here and there for awhile, I'm sure. The first of these is for a little movie which is actually out on video now (and available on Netflix's watch now) called Boy Eats Girl. Let's just say it appears to be Ireland's entry into the zombie apocalypse comedy race. And though more low-key than Shaun of the Dead, it's still pretty funny. Here's the preview:



BTW, you may remember a while back we linked to a story about a correlation between republicans being in power and a rise in the number of zombie movies, and a corresponding rise in interest in vampires when the Democrats are in power. How then to explain this year, where Twilight is sharing the multiplex screens and box office dollars with Zombieland? That's when it struck me that even such usually reliable predictors are completely confused by the fact that Barack Obama, a Democrat who ran on a platform of change is acting more and more like his Republican predecessor....

Ok, enough of that for now. Let's move on, shall we?