Yes, I Said "Lobster Dogs"

Seriously, who can resist 'em?

See more (including a special bonus 'imannakeelyoo' lobster cat) here.

Misfits - The Best Show About Teens With Superpowers On TV - Too Bad It'll Never Be on Your TV (If You're In the US)

Y'know, when I first heard the "high concept" behind the British TV show Misfits, namely "six teenagers and their adult counselor suddenly find themselves with superpowers", my reaction was "Ok, so this is going to be their version of the X-Men. Could be cool."

I couldn't have been more wrong. Or more right.

First off, where I was wrong: These kids may have powers, but they ain't no X-Men. Yeah, I could go all geeky and point out that the X-Men are mutants who are born with their powers, while these kids actually get theirs from being struck by lightning from a so-far unexplained suddenly-appearing storm, but that's not what I mean. Much like the original concept of the X-Men being mutants was simply an easy way for Stan Lee to get a new batch of heroes without having to come up with origins for them, the storm that strikes these kids is really simply a way to give them their powers. After that it's simply background.

No, the difference here is in what happens after they become super-powered.

Simply put, these teens may have powers, but they aren't superheroes. They're not the type who say "Hey, I've got powers! Better start sewing some tights and a cape!" Nor, for that matter, are they villains. "BWAH HA HA! Tonight I'll take over the world!" So what are they? Well, I guess you could say they're simply people trying to cope with what's happened to them.

Ok, let's back up a bit, and start with a bit of background. If you take a look at the picture below, you'll probably notice the orange jumpsuits. That's right, even before they get powers, these are what I suppose you would call "troubled teens". The whole reason that they are together when the lightning strikes is that they have been arrested for various crimes and sentenced to community service rather than serving time. Oh, and that "counselor" that I mentioned in the first paragraph? Yeah, actually he's their probation officer.

Moreover, these are not your stereotypical Hollywood teens. They're not all beautiful. They have acne, one has an almost unintelligible accent, one is homeless. To be honest, when I first started watching the show I wasn't sure I was going to like them enough to care what happened to them. They certainly don't care anything for one another.

Here, let's take a look at a scene from the opening minutes of the first episode. This clip shows the crew gathering for their first day of community service, then cuts to the main title sequence:



Ok, a few things that should be obvious from that clip. First off, obviously, this is not a show for the kids. It's sexy. (There is shagging!). It's violent. (Not everyone makes it through the first episode alive.) It has very harsh language. In other words, it has rough teenagers actually acting like rough teenagers. Secondly, the writing. If you had a hard time catching some of the overlapping dialog, well, that's something that you simply have to get used to. These kids talk like kids. They interrupt each other, they talk over each other, they are smartasses and they flip each other off. But the dialog is also quite brilliant and there are times when it really shines. Third, despite all of their rough edges, there is something, and even now I'm not sure I can tell you what it is, about these actors and these characters that is truly compelling.

Oh, and obvious thing number four? It'll probably never be hitting American TV. Certainly not without being edited to the point of becoming unintelligible.

I mean, sure, there's always the possibility that HBO might pick up the rights and try to do an Americanized version of it. Which might turn out to be pretty good, considering how good True Blood has been. On the other hand, it might fall into the hands of SyFy (the network so ashamed to be associated with its roots it had to change its spelling to something completely nonsensical). They have picked up the BBC's Being Human (another really surprisingly good genre show from across the pond) to make their own version. In that case, we might at least get a Region 1 DVD release of the original to coincide. (As is actually happening with Being Human, which releases a first season DVD set in July.) As far as BBC America? Heck they can't even show Dr. Who without cutting bits out to make room for commercials, there's no way they're gonna let this onto the schedule without completely butchering it.

So what we're talking about here is a truly quality Sci-Fi "superhero" show, one that won the BAFTA (basically the British Emmy) last year for Best Drama, and the only way that an Americans are likely to see it is if they have a region-free DVD player, are willing to watch it in clips on youtube, or through other questionable means. Which is a shame, because this is a show that really deserves a bigger audience.

Oh, by the way. Up above where I said my first impression was both wrong and right? Yeah, I was wrong about it being the X-Men. But I was right about it being very cool.

Orson Welles - Artist with Pen and Words

"The people were looking very eagerly, waiting for the finish, because they knew that although the story was very boring, it must be boring for a purpose..."

Most people who know Orson Welles at all, likely know him as the director and star of Citizen Kane or as the progenitor and star of the legendary Mercury Theater broadcast of "The War of the Worlds". Thankfully we're likely past the time when most people will say "Isn't he the guy that does those wine commercials?" Welles is rightfully considered a genius and perhaps one of the most truly brilliant creative minds of the modern era.

Of course, like most truly creative people, Welles tried many different things throughout his lifetime and his career, and while his triumphs were huge and praised still today, his failures were often just as legendary. His attempt to create a low-budget film version of Shakespeare's MacBeth, for instance, which turned out to be as much of a tragedy as the bard's play itself is but one example, another being his multiple aborted attempts to adapt Don Quixote to film. (One has to wonder, in light of the quite legendary struggles of Terry Gilliam to create his own version, just what it is about that novel that leads such otherwise incredibly talented directors astray.)

In between these monumental and well-chronicled efforts, however, were numerous smaller projects which have, over time, seemingly fallen through the cracks. One of these is a series of six 15 minute television shows which Welles created for the BBC in 1955 entitled Orson Welles' Sketch Book.

The concept of the show is very simple - as Welles explains in the first episode, the sketchbook is merely a prop, something he can use to illustrate the stories he is telling and to keep his mind on track. Mostly, however, the episodes simply consist of Welles looking into the camera and reminiscing, talking about getting his start in Hollywood, people he met during his storied career, and basically whatever else happens to be on his mind.

In the first episode, for instance, Welles, explains why a beginning actor is like a cartoon character not realising he's run out of cliff, discusses the invisible man who goes around on the opening nights of plays gluing swords into scabbards and otherwise creating mischief, thanks a fifth-row heckler, and elucidates on how a fall on his head made him into a professional actor, all in a seemingly impromptu style that reminds the viewer of just what a consummate storyteller the man could be.

The show was not just about his own career, however. Welles also takes the opportunity to expand his talks to social commentary, as in episode three where he discusses police abuse. Here's an excerpt:

...during that time, of course, I had occasion to speak on a great variety of subjects. And of all those subjects, one of the most interesting stories, one that sticks most vividly in my memory, had to do with a Negro soldier.

Here he is. The boy had seen service in the South Pacific, and he was on his way home. Home was in one of the southern states, and he was on a bus, on the way fell ill, and he asked the bus driver to let him off. The bus driver refused, abusively, there was an argument, at the end of which a policeman was called in, who dragged the boy out of the bus, took him behind a building and beat him viciously.

And when he was unconscious, poured gin over him, put him jail, charged him with drunkenness and assault. When the boy regained consciousness, he discovered he was blind. The policeman had literally beaten out his eyes. Now… of course that sort of policeman is the exception. That sort of a policeman is a criminal in uniform. I had the satisfaction of being instrumental in bringing that particular policeman to justice. The case was brought to my attention, and I brought it to the attention of the radio public and we did finally manage to locate this man and bring him into a court of law.

But there is another sort of police abuse. You know, I think we all suffer more or less. And we suffer at the hands of good policemen. Decent policemen. Policemen doing their duty. These are all the little petty annoyances; don't seem very important, but add up to an invasion of our privacy and an assault against our dignity as human beings...

In some ways, this simple setting allows Welles a freedom that he was rarely afforded in other venues. Certainly at times he is self-indulgent, at others he seems overly self-deprecating, but through it all, he is, as always, a master showman, proving once again why no matter what the medium, he mast always be considered one of the modern era's true artists.

Five of the six episodes are currently online at youtube, and I'm sure, unless there is interference from the BBC, the sixth will be soon. I've embedded the first below, and highly recommend you check out the others as well. For those wanting more information on the program, there is an excellent article on them from the UK newspaper The Guardian here. Also, transcripts of all but the first show can be found at the incredible Orson Welles resource Wellesnet. For those interested in checking out some of Orson's other radio and TV projects, I highly recommend The Museum of Orson Welles.