ITEM! Just when you thought he was gone for good... (btw, it was first considered that the billboard in question might by a piece of irony, but we should have known that republicans have no sense of irony... or, apparently, self awareness...)
ITEM! Speaking of republicans, one has to wonder how all those who said the president was being too harsh in calling them out for their "just say no" attitude are going to justify their filibustering of even routine appointments now...ITEM! This political ad takes the concept of "We the Sheeple" to a new extreme...
ITEM! Maybe this will teach you kids to learn your ABC's... Though at least we can't say that he tortured her...
ITEM! Forget zombies... the true predators of the next apocalypse will be... hermaphrodites! (EEEEEKK!!!)
ITEM! After this incident, I can't help but wonder how long it is before a school child is expelled for pointing a finger and shouting "bang!"... or at least has to agree to leave his fingers at home...
ITEM! Looking for someplace unusual to do (it) for valentines day?
ITEM! Despite having some of the most insane censorship laws currently in place (not the most egregious, but the most insane - no porn starring small-breasted women? really?), an Aussie court has actually slapped the big hollywood studios and shown a bit of reasonableness and common sense when it comes to ISP's responsibility for illegal activity on their network...ITEM! Speaking of australia, they've also recently tried to pass a law requiring anyone commenting on the internet about an upcoming election to also post their real name and postal code...
ITEM! Want $500 worth of free chicken? All ya have to do is find the Colonel-nappers...
ITEM! Not happy with the way your local groundhog predicted the current snowstorms hitting parts of the U.S? Here's something you can do about it... Punxsutawney Raviolis...
ITEM! At least in Britain some professors are fighting back against the unevolved...
ITEM! We now take a short intermission while Charlie Brooker explains how the news is reported:
ITEM! Watch out, San Francisco! From now on, Cletus is going to be determining if what you're doing is pornographic!
ITEM! Oh, for the good old days, when New York's mayor could refer to his constituents as "those fat Jewish broads up there"...
ITEM! You know how you bought into the idea that the pictures taken by those new airport full body scanners were immediately wiped and no one would ever see them? Yeah, so did this Bollywood star until he found himself autographing them...ITEM! The bad news: Coke bad! The good news: Beer good!
ITEM! I honestly thought I was gonna get through this column without mentioning Sarah Palin... And no, I'm not gonna take her to task for writing on her hand - after all, if "Lift American Spirits" is one of the things she needs crib notes to remind her of, then she's already making fun of herself... Instead, I'm simply going to point out that it obviously doesn't matter what magazines or newspapers she reads, because she obviously can't understand what they're saying anyway - not even when they're written by Pat Buchanan...
FINAL ITEM! Ok, I'm just gonna quote this one, because i don't think there's anything I can add that will make it any funnier... "The man is thought to have constructed the backpack from a used automotive muffler, which he filled with gasoline and gunpowder, “trying to get a rocket-launch effect,” McCabe said. “He asked another person to light a wick and then began to sled down a hill. At some point during the ride, the device exploded,” he said.
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