Is Lane Kiffin the Only One Who Deserves To Be In the Scumbucket?

Ok, so last night I'm cruising around the interwebs and I begin noticing that some of my facebook friends are posting messages like "Lane Kiffin is a scumbucket" and "Kiffin is such an Ass!" Now for those who may not recognize the name, Lane Kiffin is the former University of Tennessee head football coach who abruptly and pretty much in the middle of the night defected to the University of Southern California back in January, taking a number of the U.T coaches with him. At the time he was roundly, and in my opinion rightfully criticized not only for his actions, but for the way he handled the situation. Now, I don't consider myself to be a U.T. fan (What can I say? I was raised a Vanderbilt fan, and always will be one.), but I can certainly understand their reactions. There is no doubt that Kiffin's defection was, as the kids would say, "a Dick move". At the same time, I haven't really been keeping up with the sports news enough recently to know what had brought on the renewed ire. So, of course, time to do a little Googling to find out the latest.

Now, the way i understand it, the Tennessee Titans (our NFL team) are suing Kiffen and USC for "inducing" Titans running backs coach Kenneth Pola to break his contract with the Titans and sign on with USC a mere week before training camp was set to begin. Basically, the Titans are accusing Kiffin of "poaching" Pola from the titans. The facts, as laid out in this article from the Tennessean newspaper, seem to be that the main issue seems to be that coach Pola's contract required him to get written permission before talking to anyone else about a job with an organization besides the Titans, which he did not do. Instead, what appears to have happened is that Kiffen called Pola on Friday to see if he would be interested in a job at USC. Pola, who had only been hired by the Titans back in January of this year, told coach Kiffin that he would think about it and get back to him. On Saturday, Pola called Kiffin telling him he would take the job. At that point, Kiffen says that "out of my great respect for Coach Fisher I immediately reached out to Coach to make him aware of the situation."

It is the timing of this call, and what coach Fisher seems to see as a complete lack of respect on Kiffin's part that appears to be the basis of the lawsuit filed by the Titans. The same article quotes Fisher

“I am very disappointed in Lane Kiffin’s approach to this,’’ Fisher said on Saturday. “Typically speaking when coaches are interested in hiring or discussing potential employment from coaches on respective staffs there is a courtesy call made from the head coach or athletic director indicating there is an interest in talking to the assistant.

“So I am very disappointed in the lack of professionalism on behalf of Lane, to call me and leave me a voice mail after Kennedy had informed me he had taken the job. It is just a lack of professionalism.’’

The article then goes on to state that

According to the lawsuit, “USC and Kiffin maliciously intended to – and did – induce Pola to breach his contract with the Titans. The lawsuit alleges “USC and Kiffin engaged in improper means in their procedure of the breach and were not legally justified in their actions.’’

Ok, but here's where we start getting into "I don't get it" territory. now as far as i know, in everything that I have read so far, this phone call that Kiffin didn't make to Fisher is referred to as a "courtesy call". Those are even the words that Fisher himself uses. In other words, it's something that is considered "the right thing to do", but not a legal requirement. Beyond that, Kiffen is said to have known about (as he certainly should have) the requirements in the coach Pola's contract to inform the Titans that he was interested in talking to USC and to get their permission before doing so. Ok, fine, so Kiffin is an ass for not calling Fisher or at least for not making sure that the Titans were informed of what was going on. I don't disagree with that. But what i don't get is why Kiffin and USC are the targets of the Titans' lawsuit.

Lets be frank here. No matter how one might feel about Kiffen or USC for that matter, they were not the ones who had a contract with the Titans. Even the phrasing of the accusation - that Kiffin didn't make a "courtesy call" - pretty well says that while he should have, it was not legally incumbent upon him to do so. Instead it seems to me that all the wrath and fire, at least from a legal perspective, should be directed at coach Pola. After all, he was the one who didn't get the necessary permissions. He was the one who didn't inform Fisher that he had been contacted by USC as he was apparently contractually required to do. And he was the one who ultimately breached his contract and left the titans in the lurch. So why isn't he the one being sued?

Now, my first suspicion when considering this question was perhaps the possibility that the Titans don't want to sue Pola because they're hoping USC will back away from him rather than fight the suit and he will then come running back (no pun intended) to the Titans. Then they can play "no hard feelings" and get on with getting ready for the season. After all, a big part of the issue is that the Titans are ready to begin training camp, and the timing of Pola's defection, according to the lawsuit "disrupts planning" and "causes potential loss of confidence by players". There is also the issue of the loss of salary and benefits already paid to Pola along with "future damage." So, wanting to indirectly threaten Pola without actually filing suit against him, giving him perhaps a way to come back to the organization so that they don't have to spend a lot of time fitting someone new into the flow of the team might make some sense except for two things: first, it seems to me that despite the outrage, USC and Kiffen would just laugh at the Titans lawsuit saying "you're suing the wrong folk here - your boy's the one that (legally) done ya wrong" and second, Fisher is already on record saying he'll simply fill the position from within the organization.

Then there's also the suggestion that the suit against Kiffen and USC is part of a "spray the entire room with bullets and see who you hit" strategy. Or, as my friend D.S. put it, in an email exchange on the topic, "when a claim is made in court, you make that claim against ANY AND ALL POSSIBLE litigants, many times stretching the realm of 'reasonability' as many would understand it, knowing that the court will throw out those litigants who are not at fault. But if the court happens to determine that more litigants than you thought were at fault at first, then BONUS for you. In other words - you don't have to be the (moral) gatekeeper on who should be at fault, you utterly and completely let the court handle it." And, of course, it doesn't hurt if those other litigants happen to have deeper pockets than your actual target.

Now, again, I completely understand this concept and have no problem with it, except for one thing - in this case, Kiffen and USC seem not to be merely potential collateral damage, but are the primary and only targets of not only the lawsuits, but also the outrage that is being expressed both in the press and online. As far as i have seen, and the root of my question here, is that there's no mention (legally, or in the expressed internet outrage) of fault on the part of coach Pola, who was the one who actually broke his contract with the Titans. As far as i can tell, they're not suing Kiffin and USC in addition to the coach in the hope that the courts will go along with it but instead of and it's not "Kiffin and Pola suck" that I repeatedly see in people's comments, but just "Kiffin sucks". I mean, I understand Kiffin just screwed U.T., so he's gonna get some residual ire, especially from fans of the school, but where's the hate (and the lawsuit) against the coach who actually was the one who didn't follow through on his contractual obligations and was the one that actually left the Titans in the lurch three weeks before the first preseason game?

That's the part i don't get. Why he's seemingly getting a free pass?

So what am i missing? Let me know in the comments.

Net TV Love - Part Nine: Tiki Bar TV

Tiki Bar TV is basically dedicated to one simple premise: pretty much ANYTHING can be made better with the right cocktail. Oh, and a pretty lady who loves to dance doesn't hurt things, either.

One of the true pioneers of the web-TV phenomenon, Tiki Bar TV first popped up on computer screens in March of 2005, just as the increases in bandwidth and decreases in the price of home-recording and editing technology were making such home-brewed shows possible. And when I say home-brewed, I mean exactly that. The Tiki Bar set utilized on the show is actually located in creator Jeff Macpherson (who portrays Dr. Tiki)'s apartment, and the cast and crew consist of friends and neighbors who get to create their own characters while enjoying some drinks and some laughs.

Here's some further info on the show from a 2006 Forbes article on Macpherson and the show:

Macpherson's twisted path to Web stardom began five years ago, when he embarked on a Hollywood dream. He had put in a year at film school but detested it and worked as a production manager for car commercials. In 2000 he directed his first feature film, a well-received independent drama. Come Together was about a Scotch-guzzling, pot-smoking greeting-card writer who vows to break up his ex-girlfriend's wedding and win her back. It never got distributed; only 5,000 people saw it.

He commuted from Vancouver to Los Angeles in 2001, landed an agent at International Creative Management and signed a movie deal with MTV. Quickly it all fell apart. MTV had wanted a film on ecstasy, the euphoria drug; then it switched to methamphetamine--newsier, but far uglier. "A meth addict and an ecstasy addict are very different beasts," he says. Then it wanted a miniseries. Then MTV bailed, Macpherson's agent quit ICM, and when no one else picked him up, he packed up and slunk home to Vancouver.

Back at his small apartment, he decided, on a lark, to install a 1950s-style tiki bar, complete with palm fronds and lots of rum. Soon he invited friends over and started filming short, goofy segments.

The feel was assiduously absurd and schlocky. Props drove plot: Macpherson became Dr. Tiki after finding an old doctor's coat he had worn to a Halloween party. Soon he added a bartender, Johnny Johnny (played by a grade school pal), and a vivacious vixen named LaLa (an ex-girlfriend). Guest stars joined in (they got to make up their own characters and plotlines), and the cast would get visibly tipsier as a skit unfolded.

The real star of each episode is its special drink. "Love in the South Pacific" is laced with six liquors; it was invented by the Tiki Bar folks, though they are amateur mixologists. "People think we are the Martha Stewart of cocktails. We're not. Inauthenticity is our hallmark," Macpherson says...

[Macpherson] relishes the creative latitude of podcasting and his ability to reach legions of viewers without having to kowtow to the meddlesome, unhip Hollywood suits who once nagged him. Some TV sitcoms air flubbed outtakes as the credits roll at the end, but he blithely runs them smack in the middle of an episode. And he revels in his freedom to offend: TV needs the widest possible audience, while Macpherson need lure only the few who "get it."

...For now [Macpherson] plans to stick to his more subversive pursuits, as he has since his pithy sign-off on the very first episode of Tiki Bar TV: "Thank you so much for joining us on the podcast pilot of The Tiki Bar. If you'd like to see more of this, or even if you don't, I couldn't give a rat's ass. It's the Internet. Just try and [expletive] stop us."

Which is an attitude that also pretty well sums up why I love this whole Net TV phenomenon and decided to do this little series of posts, and a good place to close them out. I hope you've enjoyed this little look at some of the variety of shows created for the internet. And again, if there's one that's your own personal favorite or one that you think I've missed, please hit the comments and share it with everyone! After all, there's lot's more to explore and find out there, and lots of creativity just waiting to be discovered.

Now let's all sidle up to the Tiki Bar for a drink. And be sure to check out the rest of the episodes here.

Net TV Love - Part Eight: Will It Blend?

Ok, I admit, Will It Blend? is actually kind of an odd choice for this little series, since it's actually a series of viral-marketing infomercials for Blendtec blenders, but at the same time, unlike most infomercials, the episodes are short (most only 1-2 minutes) and entertaining. Basically, host (and Blendtec founder) Tom Dickson shows off the power of the Blendtec blender by taking an odd assortment of items (anything from golf balls to a McDonald's Extra Value Meal to, as you'll see below, an iPad), putting them into the blender and then turning it on to see the result. Of course, except for the very rare occasion, the blender triumphs over whatever is thrown it's way. (One notable exception, for obvious reasons is Chuck Norris. When a Chuck Norris action figure is thrown into the blender along with those of some bad guys, the bad guys are of course reduced to dust from which the Chuck Norris figure miraculously arises intact.)

Look below to see what happens when an iPad meets the blender, and you can check out other episodes of Will It Blend? at the website.

Net TV Love - Part Seven: Star Trek Phase II

Also known as Star Trek: New Voyages, this show is an interesting phenomenon. Created in April 2003 by Trek fans James Cawley and Jack Marshall, it is designed as a continuation of the original Star Trek, beginning in the fourth year of the starship Enterprise's "five year mission". The first episode of the series was released in January 2004, with new episodes being released at a rate of about one per year. So far there have been six episodes released (counting the recently concluded two-part "Blood and Fire" as two) though producers have expressed their desire to accelerate production. There is a definite reason for this slow rate of production, however, and that is quality.

Though Phase II is definitely an unofficial continuation of the original series saga, Paramount Pictures and CBS (owners of the Star Trek franchise and copyright) have not only turned a blind eye toward this production (as they do with pretty much all fan-based Star Trek material, as long as no monetary gain is pursued), but have actually directly benefited from it. (More on that in a moment.) Not only that, but Phase II has actually managed to garner the participation of actors from the original series (George Takei, Walter Koenig, and Grace Lee Whitney have all appeared in episodes reprising their original series roles while Denise Crosby has appeared as the Grandmother of her Next Generation character), utilized scripts written by original series scribes (episode two, "To Serve All My Days" was written by D.C. Fontana, writer of multiple episodes for most of the Star Trek series including the original series episodes "Tomorrow is Yesterday" and "Friday's Child" and the Next Generation pilot "Encounter at Farpoint"; episode three "World Enough and Time" was co-authored by Marc Scott Zicree and Michael Reeves, both of whom contributed scripts to the Next Generation series; and the aforementioned "Blood and Fire" was penned by David Gerrold, who wrote the original series famed "The Trouble with Tribbles"), and Star Trek creator Gene Roddenberry's son, Eugene Roddenberry Jr., has come on board as a consulting producer.

Beyond this, even, however, there is the look of the series. Because they have been able to gain access to blueprints of the set from the original series, the producers of this series have been able to recreate those sets (especially the bridge) down to the smallest detail. This attention to accuracy was actually acknowledged by Paramount when Star Trek: Enterprise actually wound up borrowing some of their props (most notably the helmsman's pop-up console viewer) for the two-part episode "In a Mirror, Darkly" which was set in part on a similar ship, the USS Defiant.

Of course, this only leaves one question - what about the acting? While, I'll admit, it is somewhat disconcerting at first to see new actors step into the iconic roles of Kirk, Spock, et al., I suppose that disconnect is somewhat mitigated now that we've been presented with new interpretations of the characters even in the official movies. (James Cawley, who plays Kirk in Phase II even had a cameo in the big-screen production.) At first a bit uncertain seeming, most of the "replacements" seem to have subsequently inhabited their roles quite well.

In the end, Star Trek Phase II is a sterling example of a show created exclusively for the web that should actually be a pleasant surprise for any fan of the original series, and I highly recommend you check them out.

I've embedded below the opening for the latest episode, "Blood and Fire", and you can download the rest of the episodes at the official Phase II site.

Net TV Love - Part Six: Cranky Geeks

Yeah, John C. Dvorak is a crank, and he's proud of it. I first ran across Dvorak when he was a regular part of Leo LaPorte's TWIT podcast (which I'll probably get to another day), but it's on his own Cranky Geeks webcast that Dvorak really shines. Each week, Dvorak hosts a round-table discussion with three other tech geeks (usually fellow columnists or industry insiders) to discuss the events of the week that in some way affect the world of technology, whether it be some new piece of hardware or an interesting bit of reporting. Basically whatever seems to have caught Dvorak's wide-roving eye is fair game, as long as it seems likely to generate interesting discussion. As a matter of fact, quite often you'll see him edit on-the-fly, tossing aside or passing over a topic on his ever-present blue cards in favor of either letting the discussion go on longer or moving on to something else that seems more interesting than whatever is "officially" on the agenda.

The show recently lost it's founding co-crank and news editor Sebastian Rupley, and his presence is dearly missed as he and Dvorak had a very good chemistry and played well off of each other, but Dvorak shows no signs of slowing down and is still cranking out (ouch) episodes each week, which is good for those who like to stay informed about what's going on in the tech world, for those who enjoy a laid back discussion, or for those who simply enjoy listening to opinionated people do their thing.

I'm embedding the latest episode below, and past episodes can be found at the official site.



Oh, and I'd be remiss if I didn't mention Dvorak's blog, which can be found here, and is often the source for many of the items found in this blog's own junkyard roundups.

Net TV Love - Part Five: Ray Harryhausen 90th Birthday Tribute

This next feature was not something that was necessarily created just for the web, but I think it fits with today's theme because without the 'net most of us would never get the chance to see it. Oh, sure, it might eventually get picked up by Discovery or TLC, but even that's kind of doubtful, and it's something that definitely should be seen, especially by those of us who love fantastic, fanciful movies.

On June 29th, Mr Ray Harryhausen turned 90 years old. Three days before, on the 26th, BAFTA, the British Academy of Film and Television Arts, along with the British Film Institute, held a special tribute to Mr Harryhausen that was hosted by filmmaker John Landis and included appearances by Rick Baker, Dennis Murren, Caroline Munro, Randy Cook, Ray Bradbury, and many others. There were also video tributes from the likes of Steven Spielberg, George Lucas, James Cameron, and Tim Burton. The producers also showed many clips from Harryhausen's amazing body of work, and those clips look just as incredible today as they did when they were produced.

For those who don't know, Mr. Harryhausen was the stop-motion animation genius behind the special effects in works such as Earth vs the Flying Saucers, The Seventh Voyage of Sinbad, Mighty Joe Young (where he worked alongside original King Kong animator Willis O'Brien), the original Clash of the Titans, and Jason and the Argonauts to name just a few. Mr Harryhausen's effects work inspired many of today's great movie directors and producers not only by showing what could be done on film, but simply by opening their minds and imaginations to the possibilities of fantastic storytelling. Even today, when 3D CGI animation is all the rage, practitioners of the craft are still working to give their creations the sense of weight and depth and, yes, life, that Mr. Harryhausen was able to imbue into his clay creations.

Anyway, BAFTA has subsequently released the video of this tribute to the web for all of us to watch and join in the celebration of the life and work of this wonderful and wondrous filmmaker. Unfortunately, it's not embeddable, but i urge you to watch it by clicking here.

Net TV Love - Part Four: Dr. Horrible's Sing-Along Blog

Freedom is glorious,” he comments. “And the fact is, I’ve had very good relationships with studios, and I’ve worked with a lot of smart executives. But there is a difference when you can just go ahead and do something.” As a web show, there were fewer constraints imposed on the project, and Whedon had the “freedom to just let the dictates of the story say how long it’s gonna be. We didn’t have to cram everything in–there is a lot in there–but we put in the amount of story that we wanted to and let the time work around that. We aimed for thirty minutes, we came out at forty two, and that’s not a problem.” - Joss Whedon, interviewed by Tubefilter (Click for the full interview)

In late 2007, Writer/Producer/Director/Creator of Buffy the Vampire Slayer Joss Whedon had a problem. Due to the Writer's Guild of America strike, he was unable to do any TV work, and was basically bored. Looking for a way to not only make some money but do something creative, he began thinking about the internet. After talking with Felicia Day, creator of the web show The Guild, whom he had worked with on Buffy, he hit upon the idea of creating Dr. Horrible's Sing-Along Blog.

Recruiting friends such as Neil Patrick Haris, Nathan Fillian, and, of course, Day, Joss and his brothers Zack and Jed along with actress Maurissa Tancharoen created what has become one of the biggest web sensations today. A fun, tragicomic musical that chronicles the efforts of the titular doctor to not only woo his love interest Penny (Day), but defeat his nemesis Captain Hammer (Fillion).

The project was completely funded by Whedon (at a reported cost of approximately $200,000), and the actors and crew worked for free in hopes of being compensated once the show hit the web. The series (comprised of three episodes or "acts") initially appeared for free on Hulu before eventually being moved to iTunes where it is available for download. As of February of this year, it is also available for free streaming on Netflix.

Below is Part One of the First Act. For information on the rest, be sure to check the official website.

Net TV Love - Part Three: The Guild

Felicia Day is one of those actors poised on the edge. She has had recurring roles in TV shows such as Buffy the Vampire Slayer, House, Lie To Me, and Dollhouse. She played Penelope in the 2004 film Bring It On Again and has had roles in other films such as June. She will soon star as Red Riding Hoos in the SyFy Channel's Red. She also appears as Penny in Joss Whedon's Dr. Horrible's Sing-Along Blog (more about that one in a bit), but it's The Guild which truly shows Day's full range of talent, and why she will soon have a true breakout, as she is the star, script-writer, and producer of this internet gem.

As Wikipedia explains

The Guild was inspired and written by Day, an avid gamer, who plays World of Warcraft in between acting roles in several US television shows and movies. After two years of video game addiction, Day decided to make something productive from her experiences and wrote the series as a sitcom pilot. The series was purposely kept generic to avoid copyright problems and to appeal to a wider audience of massively multiplayer online role-playing game (MMORPG) fans. Day also hoped to show that the stereotypical man living in his parents' basement is not the only kind of gamer. Believing the niche setting wouldn't appeal to television marketing wonks,she decided to produce the series online with Jane Selle Morgan and Kim Evey... After filming the first three episodes in two and a half days, they ran out of money. After donations were invited through PayPal, the fourth and fifth episodes were almost solely financed by donations...

The first episode "Wake-Up Call" premiered on Youtube on July 21, 2007. The first season ran until the summer of 2008, consisting of 10 episodes and two specials (including the Christmas special, "Christmas Raid Carol").

After the success of the first season (as of today, the first episode shows over four million YouTube hits, and that doesn't count those who have watched it on the official site or other places), Day received funding from Microsoft to carry on the project which is now into its fourth season.

Whether you're a geek or just someone who loves one (and let's face it, if you're still hanging around here, you're probably one or the other) you'll probably find something to like about The Guild.

You'll find the first episode embedded below. The rest can be found at the official website or on YouTube.

Net TV Love - Part Two: Uncle Jay Explains the News

The premise behind "Uncle Jay Explains the News" is very simple. Each Monday, in less than five minutes Uncle Jay picks one or two topics from the week's news and, with a wry smile and a knowing wink, tells the viewer exactly what they need to know about that weeks topic. As he says on his website, "Uncle Jay thinks it’s really important for today’s news to be understood by today’s innocent, ignorant and immature minds. Also children."

"Uncle Jay", for those not familiar with him, is, in actuality, Jay Gilbert, a long-time Cincinnati radio personality, and winner of the 2000 “Personality of the Year” Marconi Award. In the mid 90's, Gilbert created (and won an Emmy for) “Uncle Jay Explains the News” for an early-morning TV news show. Today, he carries on the tradition via his own website and YouTube.

Trust me, if you are a fan of Jon Stewart, you should also be following Uncle Jay.

I've embedded his latest episode below, (unfortunately he's taken a couple of weeks off lately so this is from July 4) and many, many more are available at the link above. Be sure to check them out.

Net TV Love - Part One: Angel of Death

I've written about Angel of Death before, but it's a perfect example of what I mean when I talk about a project that the major networks wouldn't dare to touch. Yeah, perhaps it could have found a home on HBO, or it could have been released direct to DVD, but by creating it initially for the web, creator Ed Brubaker, at the time best known as a comics writer (he's written Batman, Daredevil, Captain America, the X-Men, and many other titles) was able to do things his way. Instead of having to stretch the story out or make it fit some conventional format, Brubaker presents his story as a series of ten 8-10 minute episodes each of which moves the story along quite nicely. It's the perfect way to tell the story he want to without worrying about advertisers or network restraints.

Angel of Death is the story of Eve, an assassin for hire who, due to a nearly fatal brain injury she receives in the first episode, becomes haunted by visions of her previous victims. These visions eventually set her upon a path of revenge against her former employers. Bloody and violent, (the "nearly fatal brain injury" I mentioned earlier? Yeah, that occurs at the end of the first episode which sees Eve fleeing the scene of a botched assassination with a hunting knife sticking out of the top of her skull) there is a certain Tarantino-like quality to the proceedings, a feeling that is probably enhanced by the presence of Zoe Bell, who stars as Eve, and who was featured in Tarantino's Grindhouse effort Death Proof. Bell was also the stunt double for Lucy Lawless in the TV show Xena, Warrior Princess, and both Lawless and Ted Raimi (who was also in Xena) make appearances.

Angel of Death did eventually get a DVD release, and can be purchased in that format. but it is also still available for free on the web at Crackle, where it premiered.

I've embedded the first episode below, and you can click the Crackle link above to see the rest.

From Crackle: Edge

Net TV Love - An Introduction

Y'know, there are lots of reasons to love the internet right now. (There are probably just as many reasons to hate it, but let's save those for another day, shall we?) One of those reasons is that it has allowed for the proliferation of different visions that without it likely would not have gotten the exposure that they deserve or might not have gotten made at all.

Now, I'm not talking about Hulu or the other sites that merely repeat what's already available on network TV. Don't get me wrong, I love what they do and regularly use them to catch up on shows that I have missed. No, I'm talking about those smaller projects, some home grown, some with major names behind them that seem to have something in common - generally, a more personal touch or vision, the kind of "niche-audience" things that the larger networks simply don't believe they can touch or wouldn't think about doing, because they probably wouldn't attract the millions and millions of viewers that advertisers crave.

For lack of a better term, I'm lumping all of these shows today under the heading of "Net TV", and I suppose that's at least fairly appropriate, though if anyone out there has a suggestion for a better term, please let me know in the comments. I've tried to pick a fairly diverse selection to highlight, and probably the only thing that unites them is that they are ones that I love. Still, even these only scratch the surface of what's available out there. Hopefully, though, they'll give you a taste of what's available, and inspire you to take a look for more of these web-productions. And hey - if you've got any favorites, please share them in the comments. I'm always looking for more!

Ok, On with the Net TV!

Update: Here are the links to the individual posts for your convenience:
Part One: Angel of Death
Part Two: Uncle Jay Explains the News
Part Three: The Guild
Part Four: Dr. Horrible's Sing-Along Blog
Part Five: Ray Harryhausen 90th Birthday Tribute
And yes, there will be more tomorrow.
Update Two: The second batch of posts:
Part Six: Cranky Geeks
Part Seven: Star Trek Phase II
Part Eight: Will It Blend?
Part Nine: Tiki Bar TV

A Punch In The Junk(yard)

Yep, time for another visit to the junkyard to see what kind of scraps have been left along the side of the old information superhighway!

ITEM! For those of you still looking for a real hero to emerge from the 2010 World Cup, may I submit Paul the Psychic Octopus?

ITEM! Speaking of the World Cup, (really, we were, just look at item #1), here's John Cleese's take on the difference between American football and that other sport:


ITEM! This one's for Hannah (and anyone else who loves funny pictures of dogs) - the equation is simple: 1 dog + 1 open car window + 1 camera = these pics.

ITEM! Know that insecure feeling you get when you have to check your baggage to get on an airplane? Yeah, this story is NOT gonna help.

ITEM! As if it wasn't bad enough that vampires are all over our television and movie screens, now they're just popping up randomly on our streets and causing car wrecks.

ITEM! From the "Can I Get That Heart Attack To Go?" Department: Recently Hardee's (or for those in other areas, Carl's Jr.) began advertising a Grilled Cheese Bacon Thickburger which they describe as "A charbroiled all beef patty topped with crispy bacon, slices of melted Swiss and American cheese, and mayonnaise served on grilled sourdough bread". According to their ads, it's supposed to be for those who want a grilled cheese sandwich but don't want to have to "order from the kid's menu". While that's all well and good, and it does sound kinda yummy, it's not really what I would call a "grilled cheese" burger. This, on the other hand, is a "grilled cheese" burger!

ITEM! This one's for all my Japanese Jewish readers out there (actually, turning off the snark for just a moment, I find this somehow oddly charming and rather fascinating... and if you click on through, there re plenty of other videos from the same show):


ITEM! Mark Evanier has an interesting take on why no one (except perhaps Joy Behar) may really be able to truly replace Larry King. An excerpt: "That was one of Larry King's advantages back when he had a huge audience. Guests felt unthreatened. No one who mattered was ever afraid to go on with him. Confrontation might come from another guest — and I'm sure some guests would only agree to go on if there were no other guests — but you could lie, spin and evade all you wanted and there was little chance Larry would say anything."

ITEM! EgoTV compiles a list of "nine types of sites that encapsulate the internet". They seem to have left off number 10: Sites that make lists about crap on the internet.

ITEM! Cracked has a list of seven classic Disney movies based on R-rated stories. It's actually a pretty fascinating look at how these stories have been sanitized into G-rated flicks (and why you might want to think twice before telling your child "if you liked the movie maybe you should read the book").

ITEM! Ok, I didn't really have an issue with San Francisco's mayor banning the sales of Coke on city property, but now they want to send people to jail for selling guinea pigs?!

LAST ITEM! Finally, speaking of guinea pigs, can someone explain to me just exactly what happens at 00:40 in this video?

How To Make More Gays: Step One: Find a Rapist. Step Two: Castrate Him

You know, sometimes you're just sitting there going about your own business and suddenly you run across something so mind-diddlingly, jaw-droppingly, did-i-really-just-read-that dumbfounding that you simply have to drop what you're doing, take a step back and channel your inner Keanu Reeves: "Whoooaa!"

Case in point: The other day I was at the main Nashville library downtown doing some research on a completely different topic, going through some microfilmed newspapers from the eighties, when I suddenly ran across this headline:


"Hunh?" I thought to myself, glancing over at the person next to me just to make sure I had not somehow slipped over into another universe where all the people had purple faces with orange polka-dots and amphibian tails, but no, that wasn't the case. So obviously, I had to read on. Who was this "Casey" guy? My first thought was that he must be some whack-job psychiatrist trying to peddle his new pet theory. Umm... nope.

What I had run across was actually the second part of a story that had begun on page nine of that day's paper ("that day", incidentally, being Feb 6, 1981, not 1437 as I had begun to suspect) and when i made it back to page nine, things suddenly became much clearer. Well, ok, not really. But they did make more sense. Sort of. In an "ok, I was wrong about the 'psychiatrist with a pet theory' part anyway " kind of sense. For there, on page nine, was the following actual lead headline:


and above it, the smiling (well, what passed for a smile with Joe at the time) face of former Metro Police Chief Joe Casey.

Now, for those of you who might not be from Nashville or might not be old enough to remember Joe Casey, he was Police Chief for Nashville and the Metropolitan Davidson County area from 1973 to 1989. He joined the force in 1951 at the age of 25, having graduated from Vanderbilt and playing pro baseball for the Boston Braves organization before returning to Nashville. As a police officer, he was well respected, (some would say feared) and he rose through the ranks until finally becoming chief. As chief, he became known as "Hang 'em high Joe" for advocating that murderers and rapists should be hanged on the courthouse steps in order to teach other criminals a lesson. Casey was what I suppose would be called a "cop's cop" and he wasn't afraid to speak his mind, even when he was talking out of his ass.

Apparently there was one thing he feared, though.

The story actually begins a few days earlier in Memphis. Then Police Director E. Winslow Chapman whose city, according to the Tennesean newspaper's Feb 3, 1981 edition was "the nation's per capita rape capital last year" had recently said at "an anti-crime mass meeting" that the way to end the problem of rape was to castrate those convicted of the crime. "If maybe we can castrate rapists one or two times... that crime would go down the drain... The possible consequence of castration would dissuade 90 to 95% of rapists".

However, Chapman also realized the prospects of his idea getting carried out were not very likely, going on to say "I don't think there's any real possibility that this nation is ready for mutilation and corporal punishment... I don't think we have the guts for it." Yeah, the lily-livered cowards!

One man whose liver definitely colored like any kind of flower, was good ol' Hang 'em high Joe. When asked about the comments, Casey advocated a simpler and more direct approach - just fry 'em. As quoted by the Tennessean, when asked about Chapman's comments, the chief responded "I advocate electrocuting rapists." He then went further, saying "My only concern - and I'm not a doctor, so I don't know - is that if we castrate them we might turn them jnto homosexuals. If we give rapists the death penalty then we don't have to worry about that possibility."

Yeah, Joe, I guess you've got a point there. If we go ahead and kill 'em, at least we don't have to worry that they might become fags.

Let's go straight to the paper for the next set of quotes, shall we?

Ok, so we not only have the concept that castrating a rapist might inadvertently turn them gay, but that obviously gay people aren't "normal". Oh, and then there's the statement that "homosexuals do not confine their activity to other consenting adults, but influence and eventually corrupt youth", which the paper does not even present as a quote, but simply seems to take as a given.

Now, understand, I really have no problem with Casey as far as advocating the death penalty for rapists. Rape is a horrible, ugly, violent, violating crime which should be dealt with by the harshest possible means. Let me say that again: rape is an ugly, violent crime. Being gay, on the other hand, is not. And the concept that somehow by castrating a rapist you might make him gay...

Oh, and just out of curiosity, even if castrating a man could, in some way, shape, or form possjbly make a man gay, what's he gonna do about it?! He's still been castrated! And he's in jail! Or perhaps Chief Casey was afraid of all the requests he'd have to field for fuchsia fabric to redecorate his cells.

(And let's all just agree to not even ask Joe where he thinks lesbians come from, shall we?)

So why bring all this up now? Is it simply to make fun of Mr. Casey and his moment of "wtf?"? Is it to highlight a sort of "the way people thought then" versus "the way we think now" example? Well, yes, initially, I have to admit it was both of those.

But now, it's also a warning.

You see, in trying to find some information for this article online (which I actually was unable to do, which is why you have to put up with the microfilm scans for which I again thank the Nashville Public Library system and their incredible collection of 'filmed newspapers) I ran across the fact that the South Korean parliament has just passed a bill to legalize chemical castration for child molesters. The article also notes that though they're the first Asian nation to legalize it, "the procedure is legal in several states in the U.S., including Louisiana, California, Oregon and Arizona. In Europe, Britain, Denmark and Sweden offers chemical castration on a voluntary basis."

I just hope those places are ready for all the gays they're about to create.

You Never Know What You Might Find

Yeah, for long-time readers, this is basically the return of the Junkyard. A collection of stuff that's caught my eye recently while surfing around the interwebs. Where there are links, click 'em for the full story. Enjoy!

ITEM! Okay, generally I'm not one for remakes, but how can you not love, if nothing else, the sheer audacity of this?

ITEM! Top cultured brings us a list of ten inventors who were killed by their own inventions, Sometimes you can take a good idea too far. Or a bad one.

ITEM! Over at Rolling Stone, Matt Taibi takes Lara Logan, CBS's chief foreign correspondent, to task for recently taking Michael Hastings to task for his article that caused the recent McChrystal furor, and points out that Logan's attitude is part of the problem, not the solution. A short excerpt:

Does the fact that the country is basically barred from seeing dead bodies on TV, or the fact that an embedded reporter in a war zone literally cannot take a shit without a military attaché at his side (I'm not joking: while embedded at Camp Liberty in Iraq, I had to be escorted from my bunk to the latrine) really provide the working general with the security and peace of mind he needs to do his job effectively?

Apparently not, according to Lara Logan. Apparently in addition to all of this, reporters must also help out these poor public relations underdogs in the Pentagon by adhering to an "unspoken agreement" not to embarrass the brass, should they tilt back a few and jam their feet into their own mouths in front of a reporter holding a microphone in front of their faces.

ITEM! Movies I'm really looking forward to part one:

Seriously, this just looks like it's gonna be a hoot!

ITEM! Salon's Gene Lyons asks why so many Americans still believe what he calls "Zombie Lies" - those ideas that, no matter how many times they're disproven, just won't lie down and die.

ITEM! A couple of days ago in discussing Orson Welle's Sketch Book, I digressed into talking about his and Terry Gilliam's separate adaptations of Don Quixote as possibly great films that were never finished. Pop Crunch adds 15 more to the list. Some of them sound really intriguing, and the list includes such luminaries as Alfred Hitchcock, David Lynch, Steven Spielberg, and Stanley Kubrick.

ITEM! Speaking of movies, let's have a look at the 100 greatest movie insults ever. Seriously funny, but also (fair warning) seriously not safe for work or family friendly. Seriously. You Have Been Warned.


ITEM! I really don't think I need to comment on this one:

ITEM! From the "Thanks for your service to our country" department: (via CNN) "A Missouri VA hospital is under fire because it may have exposed more than 1,800 veterans to life-threatening diseases such as hepatitis and HIV... John Cochran VA Medical Center in St. Louis has recently mailed letters to 1,812 veterans telling them they could contract hepatitis B, hepatitis C and human immunodeficiency virus (HIV) after visiting the medical center for dental work..."

ITEM! Along with the "Drug Czar" and all the other "czars" the government has seen fit to create over the past few years, now we need a Carp Czar? Apparently Dick Durbin thinks so.

ITEM! Cracked.com brings us five ridiculous gun myths everyone believes thanks to the movies.

ITEM! Movies I'm really looking forward to part 2:

ITEM! Trendwatch - stuff on the rise: Senior Sexting. 'Nuff said, I think.

ITEM! Hey, remember when you were a kid and you had that one special person in your life? That guy or gal that was always there, that you could share anything with and that you knew always had your back? Y'know, your best friend? Yeah, well, your kid apparently shouldn't have one.

ITEM! When lightning strikes a 62 foot tall statue of Jesus does it still get filed as an "act of God"?

LAST ITEM! For those of you looking for a decent live-action Batman fix while waiting for the official sequel to The Dark Night, I offer City of Scars, a $27,000 , 30+ minute long "fan film". Not bad acting, good action sequences and high production values for the money. And kudos to both DC and Warners for not either shutting this production down or immediately demanding its removal from the web. Enjoy!